About CRIMINAL VS SWAT:
No Fear, its late 1995. Pokemon wasn’t a thing yet, Nintendo 64 is still only found in magazines. An obese shroom chomping, dinosaur riding, Italian plumber was your best friend. While enduring his psychedelic trip and slamming his head into blocks, your Mother walks through the door. She seems excited as she gingerly holds a double CD case and a rather thick book. You eye up her prize, wondering what treasure she holds. Before you can express your curiosity, she preemptively exclaims “No, this is mine.” You follow her, curiosity peaking. After an agonizingly long installation on the ol’ Dell, the game comes to life. We open the walkthrough book and brace for awesome. That music, that banging title screen music that slaps harder than Will Smith. The kind of music that makes you feel like a hero. Police officers in full battle rattle adorn the background. My young mind was blown. She clicks new career and listens patiently to the opening. Boring! When do we get to shoot things!? She selects her name, “Swat Pup” (the default name) because she was probably feeling cute. The opening cinematic starts with your superiors standing around and talking (so far, very accurate). They begin to address you, welcoming you to “D Platoon.” I refuse to sit and listen to another stupidly long monologue, my little brain cannot handle this. I encourage my Mother to skip this, its unimportant. She clicks the screen. Next thing she knows, she’s being cursed out for interrupting a superior officer. Getting yelled at is far more exciting than their narcoleptic welcoming party. “FINE, you play then!” My now angry and scornful Mother exclaims.
